I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize