home. puking in laundry basket.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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