So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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