Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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