so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize