Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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