I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize