so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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