Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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