I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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