My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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