so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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