Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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