I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize