i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize