I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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