the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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