I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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