Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This house was built for laser tag.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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