oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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