You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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