I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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