David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize