you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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