Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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