Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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