GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize