so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize