elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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