He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize