Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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