Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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