I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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