all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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