I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize