I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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