The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize