Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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