Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I died a long time ago.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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