I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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