She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish my penis had a tongue
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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