Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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