We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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