Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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