i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize