Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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