Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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