I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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