Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize