so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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